In His Shoes
by DarkHououmon
Summary: "What is the purpose of this? Why would I be designed this way? How was I going to function? What was I supposed to be?"


Author Note: I had done a 100 theme, 100 word limit challenge before, with Dino Squad, which is up on my DA page. I decided to do another challenge, this time with ChalkZone. This focuses on Skrawl, his creation and life up to when the episode The Skrawl happens. Each entry is 100 words long.

I decided not to divide this into chapters and just post it as one single document.

sss

**Introduction**-

Voices.

That is what I was first aware of. In this black void, all I could do was just listen. I was just a disembodied entity, helpless to the whims of the black void all around me.

Suddenly I became aware of a hand. Then a leg. What was happening? Eyes now... I can see. Children. Lots of them. Crowded before me.

Were these my creators? That boy sitting back... He must be the original. Had he sent these children to create me? What did this boy have in mind for me?

All I could do was sit and wait.

* * *

**Complicated**-

No... this is not how I imagined it. That boy standing there, why wasn't he doing anything? Is this what he had wanted for me? Is this what he felt was best for me?

There's too many children here. Too many ideas being plastered on me. My body...it's a twisted mess. I cannot make sense of it.

Antenna?

Crooked teeth?

Three legs?

What is the purpose of this? Why would I be designed this way? How was I going to function? What was I supposed to be?

Original creator, please, make them stop. They are ruining me. Please...

No...

* * *

**Making History**-

Well you just had to do it, didn't you, creator? Leave me high and dry like this. You could have stopped her, you know. You could have kept her from erasing me, from sending me to this gawd forsaken world like...this.

But you didn't, did you? You just stood there, doing nothing as she sent me here. I saw you. Don't try to lie to me. I could see your expression. You didn't care, did you?

Well now, if your goal was to send something here that no one has ever seen before...

Well you have succeeded, you traitor.

* * *

**Rivalry**-

Perhaps this wouldn't be so bad. I must not be the only one this boy mucked up. I couldn't be the only one who this boy had betrayed. All I had to do was find them.

I did my best to ignore the comments and stares. I had more important things to worry about. I had to find my brethren. They must be here somewhere.

Wait, did that guy say he was the boy's greatest creation? But...wait... He wasn't mishapen. He was..normal.

I narrowed my eyes in rage. Was I truly not good enough for this little brat?

* * *

**Unbreakable**-

I tried to let go of my anger. I realized I could not allow it to control me. I was here now. I might as well make the best of it.

It had been easy at first. I had gained a steely resolve and ignored the harsh comments as I explored this new world. If they hate me because I'm ugly, then so be it. I was not going to let them break me down. I was going to make it in this world.

I do not know what my purpose is. But I swear, I will find out. Yes...

* * *

**Obsession**-

I try to move on. I'm really trying...

But those others the boy had created... I couldn't stop thinking about them. They would enter my mind, my sleep, never leaving me alone.

Why didn't the boy make them like me? Why was I not like them? Was I really that undeserving of his generosity?

I do realize how childish it is for me to obsess over this. I must have a purpose with this form. I must have some kind of use. I need to stop obsessing over the why and just made do with my life.

But I can't.

* * *

**Eternity**-

I am lost. I do not know how long it's been since I was erased. And quite frankly, I don't care.

I had spent so much time trying to fit in here. I tried to get myself a welcome, a place to call my own. But no one here wants anything to do with me. They see me as nothing more than a freak.

I tried, oh how I tried so many times, to get them to accept me. I am not a bad guy. I just want to fit in. Is that so wrong?

Well according to them, yeah.

* * *

**Gateway**-

I couldn't believe my luck. My persistance had finally paid off. I did finally find someone who was willing to help me out. They told me that they needed a helping hand around the bakery. I don't know if I am much of a cook. Still, I jumped at the chance.

Working at the bakery wasn't so bad. I didn't really have to bake anything. They just wanted me to help clean up after. I was bigger than them, so it was easier for me.

I couldn't be happier for myself. This was the start of a wonderful new life.

* * *

**Death**-

Day in, day out, I worked at the bakery. I did scare away potential customers with my ugliness. I thought I would get fired for that, but I was not, thankfully.

I had thought everything would be okay, but I was wrong.

It had started off as a normal day. I was cleaning up after almost everyone left. I climbed up to clean the giant mixer. But I was too close to the edge.

I had fallen in.

Everything went dark. I tried to breathe, but inhaled batter. I choked and thrashed. A sharp pain in my head, then darkness.

* * *

**Opportunities**-

I don't know how long I had been in the batter. Someone had eventually found me, and I lay in the hospital, thinking about what happened.

A scar on my head was all that remained of that day. The doctors think that I might get cooky. Whatever. They just want me to keep coming back.

Well this did help me gain an opportunity to rethink my life. Perhaps I had settled down too easily. Perhaps I should aspire to be more. Yes... If anyone deserved something more, it was me.

I had been wronged at birth. I deserve something...special.

* * *

**33%**-

33%.

That's how much brain matter I apparently lost. Being unconscious for so long didn't help. The doctors are even more worried about my condition now.

But I feel fine. In fact, I never felt better. I stopped going to the doctors. I am tired of hearing them try to make me take therapy or whatever shit they had in mind. I do not need it.

In fact, I consider this a blessing. Ever since the accident, I have been more...motivated. And if I am going claim what I deserve, I am going to need it.

I guarantee that.

* * *

**Dead Wrong**-

During a walk, I had run into someone I used to work with in the bakery. He was worried about why I stopped going. I told him I quit in favor of something far better. And when I told him, well, to say he wasn't pleased would be an understatement.

He flatout told me I wasn't who I used to be. I tried to reason with him, but he stormed off.

I watched him go. If he believes that about me, fine. But he is wrong about me.

I had always been this way. I had just finally showed it.

* * *

**Running Away**-

It would seem that not everyone enjoyed me. And by everyone, I mean no one.

Not like I had many friends before. But now it seemed those numbers dwindled to zero. Nobody wanted to be near me. They said I was too aggressive now. I was too obsessed with my creator's work, they say.

I guess they will never understand what it feels like being me.

Oh well, I don't need to listen to them. I need a new place to live. Somewhere in isolation, where I can think without interruption. If they don't want me around anymore, then fine.

* * *

**Judgement**-

I soon left the city. I hung out on the outside and looked back. I narrowed my eyes, reflecting on how I had been treated.

Save for a few individuals, everyone else seemed to hate me. It was primarily because of my looks, I'm sure. But many others were just sick of my attitude. They simply don't understand. What right do they have to judge me, anyway?

Some of them were my creation-mates, and the fact they all looked normal still heated my blood. What made them so special, anyway?

Well soon, I would be the jury, and pass judgment.

* * *

**Seeking Solstice**-

I ventured across the lands. It was difficult finding a place here when I don't know where to go. I refused to ask for directions, however. I wanted nothing to do with anyone. Nobody liked me, so why should I seek help from anyone else?

The lands ahead were cold, or rocky, or wet, or hot. But I did not stop. I was on a mission.

To find the most perfect spot for myself.

I found it. In a desert-like location, I saw a high structure, precariously perched. Yes, this would be perfect. Nobody would come here.

Finally.

True solace.

* * *

**Excuses**-

It turned out that my place of solitude wasn't so lonely after all. There was someone living there. Old. Cranky. But harmless.

At first, I thought that it would be fine having him around. In his condition, just what harm could he do?

But I had been wrong. He had overheard me talking about my thoughts regarding my creator, and he said I was wasting time. When I attempted to defend myself, he had the gall to say I was just hiding behind an excuse.

I threw the geezer off the cliff. I watched as he hit the bottom.

* * *

**Vengeance**-

Yes. I believe I finally figured out what I was going to do. I knew how I was going to get back at what happened to me.

If my fellow creation-mates have it so easy, why don't I make things a little...harder for them? Give them a taste of their own medicine?

But how should I go about that? What could I do to make them feel as worthless as they made me feel? Oh so many ways and opportunities... How to do choose just one?

But I can promise all them one thing.

Their time is almost up.

* * *

**Love**-

I snuck into one of the stores in the dark. It was easier moving around when no one could see me. I could defend myself, but I would rather not risk a fight and getting injured.

I grabbed some things that I was going to need for this to work. Just a couple more and then...

Wait, someone spotted me. I put the things away and I prepared to attack. I could not allow them to stop me.

But when the figure came into the light, it revealed quite a stunning person. I could not bring myself to attack her.

* * *

**Tears**-

I was shaken up by what I almost did. How could I have nearly harmed this beautiful creature? And for what? Petty revenge? I am no better than those creation-mates of mine.

She tried to speak to me. But I did not respond. I knew what she was going to say. So I fled, taking the bag with me.

I laid down on my makeshift bed and cried softly. I don't know why I was doing this. But I still could not stop myself. I just kept going until I became too tired. I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

* * *

**My Inspiration**-

I wandered into town again. I know I told myself I'd never come here. But I was getting hungry and I needed some food.

To my surprise, the cashier whom was scanning my food was the same one whom I nearly attacked. I was startled and became nervous around her. When she saw me, I expected her to yell at me for that.

Instead, she had smiled and told me she had wanted to speak with me.

I couldn't believe it.

In that moment, I felt my desire for vengeance disappear. In few words, she inspired me to move on.

* * *

**Never Again**-

Things did start to feel different having her around to talk to. I hadn't yet even learned her name, but already, I felt myself feel...happy. Yeah, that's right. For the first time in a long time, I felt genuinely happy for myself. I never thought I'd ever experience something like this.

After we parted ways to go home, I went down into the shower to clean myself up. I took notice of a paper with my previous plans on it laying there. The sight of it made my heart clench. I shook my head and snarled.

No...not anymore.

* * *

**Online**-

I finally learned the name of the girl I met. Scarlett. What a pretty name. It went with her red hair, which almost seemed to glow whenever I see her.

Unfortunately, Scarlett lived far away. So we remained in contact through emails. I had been lucky enough to be able to afford one before. Not the most up to date thing in the world, but at least it could get on the web.

Scarlett and I would chat for hours when we were able to. I was often amazed at how long they'd last. It was nice and, admittingly, therapeutic.

* * *

**Failure**-

It would seem that I had failed to completely throw my past away...

I woke up, sweating in my bed, drenched. I panted as I recalled the nightmare. I was surrounded by dark shadows, glowing red eyes, and I lashed out. In the end, I had become another monster, and in turn, I was hunted down out of fear.

Was this what the future held for me? I prayed it wasn't so. But then I remembered what the doctors told me, about that brain loss. I clenched my teeth tightly and wondered if I could really lose control of myself.

* * *

**Rebirth**-

It was difficult, but I had spoken to Scarlett about what was going on. I told her about my accident, and what the doctors had said. She agreed that it could be a problem, but that as long as I remembered right and wrong, I could fight against it.

I don't know how true that is. I was well aware, after doing some research, who getting brain damage was a sort of dark rebirth of one's own soul, how people can change for the worst.

Scarlett did her best to encourage me. Through her words, I felt a little better.

* * *

**Breaking Away**-

For a week, things had been going well between me and Scarlett. We'd chat every day, either on the computer or whenever she had time to come visit me. For a time, I had forgotten about my troubles and we began to grow closer as friends.

However, it didn't last forever. My own internal biting desires, wanting of revenge, it had never gone away. I did try to fight against myself, but I had trouble. I nearly lashed out at Scarlett once. I never felt more ashamed. What was wrong with me?

I needed a little time to be alone.

* * *

**Forever And A Day**-

I don't recall the last time I had spoken to Scarlett. I hadn't bothered getting online. I'm sure she has been trying to contact me, but...I just didn't care at the moment. I needed to be alone.

Days past and turned into weeks, and still I didn't leave. I had kept trying to make sense of my predicament. Could I really control myself as much as I think I can, or was I just fooling myself? What if I snap one day and do something I regret?

This is what I kept thinking of, day in and day out.

* * *

**Lost And Found**-

I must have been in my house, cooped up inside, for at least a month. I hardly ate or drank, and my sleeping habits became irregular. I'd often find myself staring at walls, my fear of my brain injury finally hitting full swing. It hadn't mattered before because I was alone, but with Scarlett, I...

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard a knock on the door. Confused, I checked it out and there was Scarlett, much to my surprise. She told me how worried she was and how she had wanted to make sure that I'm fine.

I smiled.

* * *

**Light**-

At first, I was ecstatic. Having not seen her in so long, I couldn't help but give her a hug. Scarlett's presence did help me feel better. I was happy that she had been so thoughtful that she'd come down and visit me.

We had a brief chat to catch up on what was going on. I told her about my fear of the brain damage, the fear of losing control of myself. She was concerned, too. She suggested that I speak this creation-mate of mine that she found, who was apparently really smart.

That's when the anger came back.

* * *

**Dark**-

I don't fully remember what happened, to be honest. It was all a blur.

I remember flipping a chair. Striking something. Blood. A scream. Then nothing.

By the time I came to, I noticed that Scarlett had backed up away from me. She was shocked and horrified. I felt my blood run cold. Had I struck her? I looked down at my hands and saw blood. I gasped.

But it wasn't Scarlett's blood. It was my own. I had slashed myself in frustration.

My body shook as I stared at Scarlett helplessly. I shut my eyes, dropping onto my knees.

* * *

**Faith**-

To my surprise, I felt warm arms wrap around me. I opened my eyes to see that Scarlett was still there. I widened my eyes. What was she still doing here? I thought she would leave. Wasn't I just a hideous monster?

Scarlett made it very clear to me that she cared about me and wanted to help me. She secured me in her hug and told me that she promised sh would figure out something to help me. I was speechless. No one had ever been this dedicated to me before. Unable to contain myself, I hugged her back.

* * *

**Colors**-

Walk in the park. Yes, that's what my psyche needed right now. I am glad that Scarlett suggested it. We walked along the curving path, tall grasses and colorful flowers all around us.

I had to pause for a moment and think what kind of creator had made this. It seemed too...pretty to be just made by someone with...less experience like my own. Perhaps someone older, more intelligent. And as I gazed around at the multitude of colors... more thoughtful.

Suddenly, Scarlett grabbed onto me and pointed. Not far, there was a huge, gorgeous red flower. We approached.

* * *

**Exploration**-

The red flower had been something. Large, pretty scent. It almost made me forget about my worries.

Realizing I was still having problems, Scarlett suggested going to another outing sometime. I agreed, and within a week, we were set to climb some mountain.

The mountain was large, cold, and jagged. But we were prepared, thanks to Scarlett. She packed everything and soon we were up. I admit it was much colder than I thought, and I am not best mountain climber.

The exploration was still nice, though. Seeing all this scenery I wouldn't have before if I stayed home. Beautiful.

* * *

**Seeing Red**-

From this mountain, I could see everything. It towered above most of the ground around me. I peered down, seeing everything below me. I smiled, filled with happiness.

But that quickly changed.

Down below me, I could see something small and blue. The thing that said it was my creator's greatest creation. He was playing with his friends, another creation-mate, I recognized. Seeing him having fun, before I knew it, I felt my blood heat up.

I was barely aware of Scarlett as I let out a roar and barreled down the mountain. That's when everything become a red-stained blur.

* * *

**Shades Of Grey**-

I woke up in a large bed. My bed. I groaned softly, trying to remember what had happened. I saw Scarlett next to me, and she looked very worried. I asked her what was wrong.

She relayed to me on how I had lost my temper and tried to run down the mountain after the blue kid. I had tripped up and fallen down onto the ledge below. She took me here and treated me.

I couldn't remember any of that. Dread rose up in my stomach. I knew I couldn't control myself, but this was... unbelievable.

What was happening?

* * *

**Forgotten**-

I wish I could say that was the last of it. That I had regained control of myself better and we moved on.

But I'd be lying if I said that.

A few more outbursts came. Almost always when I saw another creation-mate. Something about the sight of them would spark a rage inside of me, and I'd just flip out. Was this because of the brain damage? Or was it because I was too weak to resist?

And each time, I'd just...forget. Aways relying on Scarlett to tell me what happened.

Briefly, I was angry. Now...I'm terrified.

* * *

**Dreamer**-

Scarlett was surprisingly hopeful. After repeated failures, I would think she'd just give up on me.

But she didn't.

She hoped that one day, everything would be fine. She hoped that I would be able to permanently regain control of myself and the outbursts would stop.

Heh, seemed like a dream to me at this point. If I ever could control myself, I just need to pinch myself and wake up to the cold, cruel reality.

Still...despite my uncertainties, I couldn't lie. That did seem like a good goal to me. Something that I could strive for.

But...how?

* * *

**Mist**-

The road ahead of me was blurry, however. It wasn't going to be easy for me to decide which way to go. I could only hope that, whatever path I choose, it's the right one. Scarlett does what she can to help me figure out a way to help myself. She suggested therapy, but I refused.

Yes, call me stubborn if you want, but I feel that this is something I could handle on my own. Yes, the path ahead of me is blurry, opaque, but...I feel that this is something I should do myself. It's my responsibility...right?

* * *

**Burning**-

Controlling my anger was not an easy thing to do. Whenever I feel that burning anger inside of me, it just felt so good...and then I'd just let go. I was a totally different person in this state. I'd be...hungry for something. That's the best I could describe it.

Scarlett did eventually get me to take some medication. It didn't help much. But to keep her from worrying, I'd lie and say it did. I don't know why I lied; as soon as I have another outburst, she'd know the truth.

Still..it's best this way.

For now.

* * *

**Out Of Time**-

I had that nightmare again. The same one I had the other night, and the night before.

I'd be walking through the city, and it would be a beautiful day. Well here, wasn't it always?

I'd be going to pick something up when people would suddenly freak out at me. It wasn't the same as before, where they were scared for my appearance. I'd be outed as an attacker, someone who wanted to rule the world. No...I wouldn't...would I...?

I'd wake up screaming after a shadow would engulf me, and well me how I'll run out of time.

* * *

**Knowing How**-

It would seem that lying to Scarlett hadn't been the best choice after all. After another outburst, she realized that the medications really weren't working. And she yelled at me for it.

After she stormed out, I sat there, all alone. For the next few days, she refused to see me or talk to me. I felt horrible for lying to her. I thought at first, she'd come back and I could explain.

But she never did.

I realized that I needed to go to her. That was the only way to fix this. Making up my mind, I left.

* * *

**Fork In The Road**-

Trying to get to her was harder than I thought. I hadn't realized just how far away she lived. Even with the rental I got, it still took a while. As I drove down to see her, I started admire the trouble she goes through to visit me.

I soon hit a snag. I didn't know which way to go. There were three directions and the names were al lsimilar. I cursed whoever designed this place.

Thankfully, a pudgy guy showed up and helped me out. His face was weird, but I took his adice. I took the middle road.

* * *

**Start**-

I soon reached Scarlett's place. It was pretty small and quaint. Not what I imagined. But oh well. I knocked on the door. She opened up and glared at me. She demanded to know what I was doing there.

I apologized to her about my lying before. I told her I just didn't want her to worry. She told me angrily that I should still have been honest with her. I agree and I apologize again. She says that she'll forgive me if I start going to psychiatrist meetings.

I reluctantly agreed. She smiled at me, promising to join me.

* * *

**Nature's Fury**-

The meeting with the psychiatrist had to be delayed. There was a freak storm going on and I did not want to get caught up in it. So I stayed cooped up in my house, hoping that the sand storm would pass soon.

As I waited, I briefly wondered about Scarlett. I tried to call her, but to my horror, she didn't answer. Thinking that something might be wrong, I made a resolve to find her after the storm stopped.

When it did, I raced towards her place as fast as I could. I called out her name, looking around.

* * *

**At Peace**-

Scarlett's place was devasted by a storm. Whether or not it was the same sand storm that struck my place didn't matter. I searched around the premises, trying to find her. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest.

No please...let her be okay..

I soon gave a sigh of relief when I found Scarlett on the ground in the back. I came up to her, but I could see that she was devastated. I did my best to comfort her, since she was there for me. She leaned against me and I could feel her calming down.

* * *

**Heart Song**-

I invited her to stay at my place. It wasn't much, but there was enough room for the two of us. She accepted and she moved in with me, at least until she could find her own place.

After a couple of days living with me, I could tell that she was still depressed. I couldn't blame her. Losing your home is nothing to sneeze at. So I decided to cheer her up.

I put on a show for her. I hadn't tried singing before, but somehow the words flowed through me. Scarlett smiled and told me she loved it.

* * *

**Reflection**-

We finally started going to the psychiatrist meetings. It was a difficult thing for me to do. Scarlett helped me feel better, though.

In the meeting, the psychiatrist asked me why I had snapped those times. I told him I didn't know, and he thinks that it's because of some bottled up feelings I had inside of me. He told me I needed to take a moment and reflect upon myself. He promised to help me however he can.

I realized he was right. My flaw was holding things inside of me. They were building up. I needed an outlet.

* * *

**Perfection**-

Finding an outlet was hard. I wasn't sure what I was good at. Scarlett and I tried many things, but none of them worked. I could still feel myself gravitating towards my hatred of my fellow creation-mates.

Scarlett suggested singing. She told me I had a beautiful voice. I was skeptical. I told her I had just made up the song on the fly and I didn't know I could do it again.

Still, she convinced me to try again. So I took out the mic and started to sing another song, this one about myself.

...yes. This was perfect.

* * *

**Everyday Magic**-

The singing was working. It helped me to keep my mind off my creation-mates, and I started to channel my feelings through the songs. Each day, I would think of something new and exciting to sing. Sometimes, Scarlett would even join along with me and we'd do a duet.

Those days were some of the best times of my life. I felt truly happy with myself. Scarlett suggested I could sell my songs. This, I declined. But despite that, I still continued to make songs for her, as well as myself. There wasn't a day after that without a song.

* * *

**Umbrella**-

I decided to go to the library while Scarlett rested. She was feeling under the weather lately, so I decided to get her some medications.

I winced as it started to rain. Figures this would happen day of all days. I didn't even have an umbrella to speak of. I stood there, getting soaked in the rain.

Someone came over to me. I recognized him from before. The pudgy guy simply smiled at me and handed me his umbrella. I thanked him cautiously, but he was quickly off. I frowned as I watched him leave. He was so very strange.

* * *

**Party**-

It has been two weeks now and still no word on that house. Each day, it seemed Scarlett was getting more and more depressed.

So I decided to organize a party for her. I knew no one would come to see me, but Scarlett seemed like she had some friends. I wanted to keep it a surprise, and, doing my own research, I was able to find a couple of people to come over.

Scarlett was surprised by the party. But her shock melted away and we all started to have a great time.

That is, until it had happened.

* * *

**Troubling Thoughts**-

It would seem that not everyone in the party was so accepting of me. I over heard one of them comment on my appearnce. They said I was ugly, and that I was not fit to be Scarlett's friend.

At this, I felt my spirit get crushed. The party didn't seem so fun after that. Scarlett did usher the guy out, much to his confusion. But that did little cheer me up. I started to notice no one around me, save Scarlett, was comfortable.

Was I really this offputting to people? I would have thought that...

Had I been wrong?

* * *

**Stirring Of The Wind**-

After the party, Scarlett did what she could to cheer me up. I smile at her, I tell her I'm fine. She knows it's all a lie.

I do try to get myself over what happened. But..how could I?

I could feel that temptation from before rising up again. The desire to get back what was mine, what had been stolen from me. I had tried to keep this urge back, knowing it would do nothing to help me. But the desire was just too strong. I..I needed to do something about this, before it tears me apart.

* * *

**Future**-

I laid down on my bed as I tried to think of what will happen if I don't get this under control. How would my future look if I allowed myself to keep having these thoughts?

I did have nightmares about it. Dreams of what may come. I didn't tell Scarlett much about them, as I am ashamed of them.

Dreams of killing people.

Dreams of trying to conquer the world.

Dreams of controlling everyone.

These desires continue to grow everyday. If it doesn't stop, I could..I could become the bad guy.

I don't want to become a villain.

* * *

**Health And Healing**-

Despite my best efforts, I did cave in and tell Scarlett more about these dreams. As I expected, she was horrified. I thought she would leave, but she stayed. She was still willing stick with me, even knowing about these desires.

We started to go the therapist a bit more often. Of course, the therapist was shocked by what I had said, and he thinks it's related to fear.

So after that, Scarlett and I decided to travel the world for a bit. It was a nice, refreshing change of pace. Yeah, this is exactly what I needed right now.

* * *

**Separation**-

The trip didn't last as long as I thought. Scarlett got a call from one of her friends. Urgent. So we had to separate.

It wasn't easy saying goodbye. It wasn't easy to continue having fun when she wasn't around. In fact, it got so depressing without her around, I stopped altogether.

I stayed in motel that I found. It was a isolated, just what I need while I waited for Scarlett to return. Being apart from her didn't really do me any good. This worried a part of me.

What would happen if, one day, she did not return?

* * *

**Everything For You**-

My worst fear suddenly became a horrifying reality.

Scarlett got into an accident. I forget the details. It was something about a car getting in the wrong lane or something. As soon as I heard, I rushed over to the hospital. I didn't care about anything else.

She didn't look too good. She was hooked up to a machine and she looked a little pale. I bit my lip. I sat down with her. I told her I would do whatever it took to help her feel better.

So I set out later back to home. I went to work.

* * *

**Slow Down**-

I worked as hard as I could day in and day out. I wanted to create something that would help her recover faster. I never tried to create anything before. But..I had to do this. For her.

But it was taking a toll on myself. As the days past, as she remained in the hospital longer, as I kept trying so hard... I could feel my head start to ache and threaten to break. The therapist told me I needed to calm myself down.

But I could not. I needed to keep doing this. I owed it to Scarlett.

* * *

**Lesson**-

I had finally pushed my body too far. After working another tedious hour on trying to create the medication, I collapsed.

After I came to, I realized that maybe I did need to see a doctor about this. Despite my misgivings about going into town, I went to have myself checked out. The doctor confirmed that I was working myself too hard and I needed to slow down.

Well I suppose it was good I learned this. What good am I to Scarlett if I work myself ot the point of breakage?

I agreed to take a rest for now.

* * *

**Challenged**-

I tried my best to relax and only work in moderation. I have my health to think about. So I tried only working for two hours a day and resting as much as I can to prevent exhaustion.

But somehow, I found it difficult to do that. I would always feel my fingers tingle and twitch in anticipation, and I was constantly drawn into the lab.

I kept trying not to give in, however. Maybe if I keep fighting back... Oh gawd, why was this so hard? Why can't I just relax a little and take it easy? Oh, why?

* * *

**Exhaustion**-

I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't just sit around doing nothing. I...I had to do something. I could not resist the temptation any longer.

I caved in.

I began working longer hours in the lab. Twice as long. Twice as hard. I nearly lost the sense of day and night. I couldn't tell how long it had actually been. I rarely leave the lab anymore. All I could think about was creating that medication.

But soon my efforts paid off. I had a vial of the stuff available.

But before I could bring it to Scarlett, I collapsed.

* * *

**Accuracy**-

I don't know how long I was unconscious for. I remember waking up and noticing that the clock had moved forward some. How much? I don't know, but somehow I knew I had been out for a while.

I rushed to the hospital with the vial. I moved through the streets, making every step, every second, count. And my efforts soon paid off. I had arrived in the hospital.

The doctors were suspicious, but I convinced them to use my concoction. We all watched and waited, and Scarlett soon woke up. I couldn't help but smile. Talk about close call.

* * *

**Versus**-

It took about two days before Scarlett was strong enough to speak. I took the opportunity as soon as I could.

But she...didn't seem all that happy with me. I didn't know why. I was confused. So I asked her.

She wasn't happy about being given a medication that could have made things worse. She asked if I had tested it out, and when I admitted I didn't, she got angrier at me. She told me to never use her as a guinea pig again.

I felt hurt and angry. Feeling unwanted, I stormed out of the hospital quickly.

* * *

**Heartfelt Apology**-

I had intended to lock myself away in home. I had wanted to just go underneath the covers and leave Scarlett alone if that's what she wanted. But...I just couldn't do that. So I went back a short time later after I had cooled down.

When I arrived, I apologized to her. I told her that I had just been so worried about her, I wanted to do something to help.

She accepted, and also apologized. She realized that I was only trying to help and she felt bad about yelling at me.

We smiled and hugged each other.

* * *

**Luck**-

Wow, talk about avoiding a crisis there.

The doctor told us something that reaffirmed what I had thought about being in the nick of time before. What he told us was chilling, but also relieving.

Apparently, Scarlett was very close to slipping into a permanent coma. What I had given her was enough to stave that off somehow. But he also informed us that a slightly different angle or different force would have killed her.

I felt my heart skip a beat and I clutched her hand. I couldn't bear the thought of losing her.

I won't let that happen.

* * *

**Impressions**-

After she recovered, Scarlett told me that it was time that I had met Zerax, who was the zoner who had insulted me at the party. She said something about wanting us to patch things up and start over. I didn't like the idea, but I still agreed.

We met at her place. Zerax regarded me in contempt but also curiosity. We started to talk to each other. Awkard, slow, but we made some progress.

I could tell it was hard for him to be nice to me. But it was still nice he was trying. Perhaps he wasn't bad.

* * *

**Teenager**-

I take back what I said about Zerax being okay. He is such a jerk. He might be nice to me up in my face, but behind my back, I still hear the insults. Each one worst than the last. I tried to control myself.

Scarlett got tired of me complaining about him. She told me that I was acting like some stupid teenager with holding onto a grudge. I frowned at her, feeling hurt that she didn't seem to understand my pain. I wished she could be in my shoes for once.

But maybe she was right about me.

* * *

**Friendship**-

I tried to focus my attention on those who cared about me. Or rather, the one person who was nice to me. Scarlett.

Well there was that strange man, but...I digress.

We decided to go out for dinner after having some fun in this new, futuristic place. The restaurant was rather nice, one that Scarlett loved to visit. We ate and we had some interesting conversations.

She understood my fears and reaffirmed our friendship. She even gave me a quick, friendly peck on the cheek. I couldn't help but smile. I was lucky to have her. She's so kind.

* * *

**Cold Embrace**-

I woke up screaming again. I hugged myself tightly. I could feel the coldness all around me, trapping me inside a coil despite me being wrapped in a blanket. It was just so cold...so cold...

When will these nightmares stop? Why won't they leave me alone?

They keep taunting me, showing me as something that I was not. They are getting harder to fight against.

I look outside as I heard a bolt of lightning. Suits my mood well.

I should get back to sleep. I can talk to Scarlett about it tomorrow. Maybe she can figure out something.

* * *

**Frost**-

Oh darnit. Of course it was going to snow today. The roads are covered in a small, yet slippery, layer of frost. It's hard for anyone to move around. I could see people struggling to stand up.

I did my best to keep from slipping myself. I failed several times, landing with my face in the cold, snowy ground. But I still get up onto my feet. I needed to see Scarlett.

When I arrived, I found that she had been trapped inside by the snow. Her doors and windows were frozen shut.

Using my strength, the door was opened.

* * *

**A Moment In Time**-

With the power out, there wasn't much we could do. Scarlett was freezing, but I didn't want to take her all the way to my place just to warm up. So I offered to stay there with her.

We sat together on the couch. A blanket was wrapped around us. We talked about different things, but never my own feelings. I didn't feel about talking about them right now.

I soon felt pressure against myself. I looked down and saw that Scarlett had fallen asleep next to me. Smiling gently, I put my arm around her and pull her close.

* * *

**Dangerous Territory**-

Scarlett and I decided to head down into the city to see if they had any good movies available. She figured we could pass the time watching that. It wasn't exactly what we had planned, but it would do.

We found this old alleyway, worn and torn up. I did spot one of the strange men from before. I wondered if he would help us. I smiled when I saw more. I raise my hand to greet them.

Scarlett stopped me. She urged me to move on and explained this was a dangerous neighborhood. She said those men were criminals.

* * *

**Boundaries**-

We were on our way when one of the strange men confronted us. He seemed to be leader, despite looking much like the others. I wasn't going to question how he could carry himself around like that.

He demanded to know what we were doing there. I couldn't help but smirk. The spinner hat made him look pretty goofy.

Scarlett quickly told me to shut it, and it was then I noticed the leader didn't take too kindly to me laughing at him. He told us to get out of his territory.

Scarlett and I hightailed it out of there.

* * *

**Unsettling Revelations**-

After that encounter, I tried to forget about it by distracting myself with some home decore.

When Scarlett came over, I noticed she wasn't happy. She looked rather distraught. I asked her what was wrong. I felt my fear increasing when I saw her crying. I led her into my living quarters and tried to calm her down.

Scarlett told me she found the body of her grandfather at the bottom of the canyon. When she showed me a picture, my blood turned into ice.

It was that old man I had thrown off the cliff.

I killed her grandfather.

* * *

**Shattered**-

It hadn't hit me back then. I never thought twice about throwing that man off the cliff.

But now, I finally realized the true weight of my actions. I had taken the life of someone else. I had been, in that moment, the monster my dreams told me I was.

I suffered a mental collapse after Scarlett left. I barely ate or drank anything. I just...laid around, doing nothing. I replayed that man's death over and over again in my head. Oh gawd, what have I done...?

I couldn't tell Scarlett I was the culprit. She must never know.

* * *

**Bitter Silence**-

It didn't last long. I held my tongue for as long as I could. But then the sleepover happened.

She wanted to start healing, and she thought it would be best if she came over to sleep at my place. I agreed and she came over soon after. We played some games and had fun.

I spoke in my sleep. I said something that caught her attention. I was forced to explain. When she found out what I did, she left. I tried to talk to her, but she refused to answer her phone. I was met with cold silence.

* * *

**The True You**-

A week later and still no word from Scarlett. I felt my heart twist. I had really blown it. This was worse than last time. I feared that Scarlett would never speak to me again after what happened.

I didn't care to ask why she didn't call the police on me yet. I just laid down, my mind sifting through my troubled thoughts.

I remembered when I threw the man over. Something about it just felt...right.

I cringed at that. Had I really enjoyed watching someone die? Is this who I really was?

No..I refused to believe that.

* * *

**Pretence**-

Despite Scarlett refusing to talk to me, and the nightmares, I tried to go on with my life as normal. I told myself I didn't need Scarlett to help me feel good about myself.

I began to pretend that nothing happened. I pretended that I never met her, that it was a dream. For a while, it seemed to work. Pretending not to know about Scarlett helped to ease the pain somewhat.

But then I would be so easily reminded of her. My facade wasn't going to last forever, I knew. Sooner or later, I would have to face reality.

* * *

**Patience**-

I couldn't keep it up any longer. The pain of losing Scarlett as a friend was devastating. I did the only thing I could think of. I went back to the therapist and spoke with him.

I didn't tell him what I did. If I had, I'd be locked up. But I did still give him the rundown, and how Scarlett has avoided me since.

He recommends I continue to wait it out. There are moments when people require longer times for cooling down. I wasn't sure if I could do it, but I agreed to give her more time.

* * *

**Midnight**-

Midnight.

What a lovely time to wake up.

I moved through the hallway towards my kitchen. My eyes blink slowly as I tried to get my vision to clear up. I yawned and soon arrived at the fridge. I opened it up and got something to drink.

I didn't have any nightmares so far. Strange...but I knew they would come soon. As soon as I closed my eyes, there they would be.

I can't blame Scarlett for hating me. But I wish she would let me explain. If I had known that was her grandfather...

No...it's my fault.

* * *

**Shadows**-

I tried to get back to sleep. I pulled the blanket over me, closing my eyes.

I remain awake.

I sat up, rubbing my head. Why couldn't I sleep? Was the guilt finally becoming too much for me? Or was it this blasted scar on my head that started to ache?

I heard a noise and looked around. I could see a shadow moving along the wall. I cringed and tried to hide. The figure came into the room. I gasped.

It was a twisted version of myself. It lunged at me.

I screamed and woke up, covered in sweat.

* * *

**Summer Haze**-

Wanting to get away from the house and get my mind off that wretched nightmare, I headed out to the park. At this time of night, no one was there, and it would give me plenty of time to think.

I sat down on the bench and leaned against it. I looked all around me. This place looked quite beautiful. I loved the way the trees swayed in slight wind. I loved the way the warmth from the sky beat down on me, almost comforting.

I shut my eyes part way and, for a moment, forgot about what had happened.

* * *

**Memories**-

The more I watched the serene nature scene, the more that I enjoyed it, the more I began to think of...her...

I felt my heart clench and I clutched my chest. Any feelings of warmth and comfort disappeared. Everything around me appeared to get a little cooler and darker. I shut my eyes, fighting back the tears.

There was no way I could erase the memories of Scarlett. I hadn't seen her in so long. I had to wonder how she was doing. Was she thinking of me? Or was it truly over between us?

I had to know.

* * *

**Game**-

The first thing I thought of was a sport. I recalled how much she liked certain games. Bowling seemed like a good option. I remember we played it before.

I arranged with the bowling alley for a few games with two people. I realized too late that I should have asked Scarlett first. But I had been naive.

Scarlett refused to answer my phone calls and, unsurprisingly, never showed up. The bowling alley had prepared for us and it all for naught. I still went and bowled on my own, but I had to pay an extra fine.

Stupid me.

* * *

**Illogical**-

It was my fault. I should have realized that it wouldn't have worked. Scarlett knows I killed her grandfather. What kind of loon would want to hang out with a murderer? I couldn't blame her for not bothering to see me. I'd be like that, too, if I were in her shoes.

If I was going to show her how sorry I was, I'd need to do something else. A game wasn't going to do. That wasn't going to erase all the pain I gave her.

Hmm...perhaps a tribute? Maybe I could make something for her grandfather. Something special.

* * *

**Only Human**-

Day in and day out, I worked on the tribute. I wasn't sure if it was what Scarlett would have wanted for her grandfather, but it's the thought that counts, right?

I heard the doorbell. I put my things down and answered it.

It was Scarlett.

I was shocked, speechless. I could barely ask her if she wanted to come inside.

Scarlett made it clear she was still angry, but she understood how messed up people can get with brain damage. She said she was still willing to help me. Brain damage isn't easily overcome, and I was only human.

* * *

**A Place To Belong**-

She was wrong. I was not human.

I was...something else.

But her words did make me feel as though I did belong...somehow. I wasn't the only one suffering from brain damage, and according to her, one could not just jump back from it.

Scarlett admitted that, after some thinking, she realized that me throwing her grandfather off a cliff was a definite sign I needed a lot of help. She was willing to do that, if only to keep me from doing it again.

I doubt things will be the same between us. But I still appreciated it.

* * *

**Advantage**-

Having Scarlett around again, even if it wasn't as warm as before, did help me regain some sense of my mind. I am not sure what it is about her, but it just...helped.

She was happy to see I made her grandfather a tribute, showing how sorry I was. She accepted my apology, but she wasn't yet ready to forgive me completely. Understandable. It's not easy forgiving someone who killed a family member.

I was determined not to lose her again. I hope that, in time, we can mend our relationship, and start over.

It would take some time.

* * *

**Breakfast**-

The first sign that Scarlett was starting forgive me was when she came over to my place to make breakfast. A big one at that, and right in bed. I was surprised by this gesture. But it still warmed my heart.

Although her cooking was something to be desired. The food...well it wasn't bad, but it did taste a little weird. I wonder what kind of meat she used for the bacon.

Well it is the thought that counts, and I appreciated it. I want to do something nice for her in return. Hmm... but what should I do?

* * *

**Echoes**-

A cave. Yeah... that would be fun.

Scarlett liked the idea of exploration. I felt this was a good way for us to rebuild some trust. Relying on each other to navigate a vast network of underground tunnels.

But it was difficult to find one in this world. I must have searched everywhere, and found nothing.

That is, until I found the mine. Just what we needed.

We began to explore. It was quite pretty, and sparkly in some rooms. We listened to our echoes. But our visit was short-lived when the person in charge of the cave arrived, furious.

* * *

**Falling**-

It wasn't easy getting away from him. Even as we ran, I could hear his footsteps behind us.

It didn't take long for us to fall down through a hole in the ground. We screamed as we plummeted. I remember pain, darkness, and then nothing.

When I came to, we were at the bottom of a drop. My body hurt and I struggled up to my feet. I looked around and found Scarlett laying on the ground. I helped her up to her feet.

There was a pathway to our left. We took it until we finally reached the outside.

* * *

**Picking Up The Pieces**-

It took us a while to recover from that. We were both quite shaky.

Luckily, we didn't get that badly hurt. The doctors said we were both narrowly escaped worse injuries. He also told us that mine was off limits, and implied it was our fault for going in. We were angered, but did not argue and left.

After that, we did continue working on improving our relationship. It was slow and steady, but I feel we made some nice progress. She still retained some anger, but I expected that.

It took a while, but slowly, things were getting better.

* * *

**Gunshot**-

After another visit to the therapist, I suggested we go out to eat, like old times.

We headed down the street. The diner was close.

I tried to think of what to talk about. I still felt guilty about what happened. I wanted to do something to make it up to her. I still considered her a friend.

A bang rang through the air.

I stiffened up. It had sounded so close. I tried to look around, but a horrific pain suddenly ripped through my head. The next thing I was aware of was my head colliding with the ground.

* * *

**Possession**-

I woke up in the hospital, a horrible pounding headache ripping through my head. I could feel a heavy bandage on it, and turning around was too difficult.

The doctor told me that I gained a new head injury. My old one had worsened. He feared I would start to have less control over my less desirable attributes. I was horrified.

But that wasn't the only problem.

The doctor also said that there was a gun found at the scene. It was used on me and Scarlett.

And my finger prints were on it.

I couldn't believe it.

Oh no...

* * *

**Twilight**-

My trial was going to be soon. For the time being, I had to remain here, just in case I tried to leave.

The doctor had been right. My anger was getting more out of control. They stopped interrogating me because I would nearly wring their necks. I would only regain control after I was struck or the door slammed.

What the hell was wrong with me?

How could I have done such a thing to Scarlett? To myself? I hope she is okay.

There were so many questions plaguing my mind. I hope to get answers soon. Somehow. Someway.

* * *

**Nowhere And Nothing**-

Scarlett visited me, much to my shock. She didn't appear angry at all and was understanding of the situation. She told me she believed that there was more brain damage before than we thought and she promised she'd find a way out for me.

That had been a few days ago. I hadn't seen her since.

She probably failed. Let's face it. I'm not getting out of here. No one, besides Scarlett, would help me. I'm a lost cause. I'm nothing.

So why don't they just lock me in a jail cell to rot and throw away the blasted key?

* * *

**Answers**-

That strange man before, the one who had been aggressive, came to visit me. I told him to get lost, but he insisted he stayed. He had some camera footage of what had happened that day and he felt I needed to watch.

I eventually agreed. He put it into a portable video player he had brought with. My eyes widened in horror.

It had been Scarlett. She had the gun. She aimed it. She fired.

The strange man was in the video. He had saved me. His actions diverted the bullet, and injured Scarlett in the process.

I cried.

* * *

**Innocense**-

The evidence the strange man gave was enough to let me go, and enough to convinct Scarlett. I didn't bother staying to know why she did it. I already knew.

Even though I was proven innocent and allowed to leave, it felt..hollow. How could I return to my life now? Innocence...bah, it was nothing to me now. I had lost that a long time ago.

But despite my skepticism, I did try to move on from that. I was a free man and I was going to take full advantage of it.

I continued to life my life.

* * *

**Reality**-

No matter what I did, Scarlett was always on my mind.

I couldn't believe that, after all we went through, she'd do this to me. I realized that the only reason she was nice to me before..

...was so she could get revenge.

She had used me. And I fell for it. So much time wasted..

Unable to take it anymore, I snuck into the jail. I found her cell and I grabbed her scrawny neck in my hands. With a jerk, her neck snapped. I sang her a hushed, twisted lullaby as her life faded away. I smiled evilly.

* * *

**Acceptance**-

I had finally accepted who I was.

I wasn't someone who would fit in. I was not someone who would ever be liked or accepted. I was someone who must claw my way through, and that's what I'm going to do.

The strange man and his minions saved my life. I offered to help them. They would work for me. They were nothing more than minions. Not friends.

I have no use for friends. I would never allow myself to be open again.

I gave into my darker desires, and became the monster of my nightmares.

And I loved it.

* * *

**Endings**-

Soon, it would be over.

Working with my new... 'friends', we built a trap for my creator and creation-mates. No one was going to stop me. My therapist and that stupid friend of Scarlett's? I took care of them.

It worked. I was luring them all in. I waited for my moment to strike. And when it came, I decided it was high time I introduced myself to the creator who had betrayed me.

"At last, Rudy Tabootie... We meet face to face.."

I began to sing. Not out of comfort, but to vent my anger. I enjoyed their fear.


End file.
